Dressing to flirt

Cleaning yourself up, and putting on your best gear, to attract someone who contrasts or compliments. Something that expresses something unique if you, but also categorizes, to ones niche and target group. Dating up or down or across, social and demographics. Age and interests, with life stage pragmatics, clothing for the body one has, for the one to attract, and be set apart from other competitors. As dancing is to sex, so clothes are to the asking some one to. lezflirt international

Advertisements

Flirting by making fun of it

many decades ago, and realizing that I am at that age when it is decades not years, I was at the gay and lesbian center in Vancouver, as it was called that decade. I was leaving the queer paper, when I saw a woman looking at the community board. She was gorgeous and out of my league. I walked by her and she asked about an item on the board. Why is there no pen pals or social clubs for lesbians, she asked me. Because lesbians are not friendly, I replied with a smile. She laughed, we left the building together, walked across the city and talked until we arrived at public transit. We were going in different directions, so I told her it was her last chance to get my phone number. She smiled again, and we exchanged numbers. I called her a week later, she said she would have called but couldn’t read my handwriting. We dated over the summer, for her a light romance, and for me, a third one, looking not for ms right now, but ms right. Anyway, at lesbian bars, my opening line was always, lesbian bars are so unfriendly. Scowls mean move on, while laughs lead to conversations, friendship and that maybe more , eh. Lezflirt international

That was flirting

I was in a coffee shop on commercial drive Vancouver bc, Canada. Dykecouver as it is community known in the neighbourhood more widely know as Little Italy. She was younger than me, and mentioned she owned a gelato shop on the drive. I had two friends from out of the country with me, and I thought she was just marketing. At first, anyway. I mentioned some other places about the novelty or freshness of the gelato, she a gelato maker and me potential eater, but diabetic tattooing my wrist, notwithstanding, I mentioned a flavour cranberry rosemary, she nodded it would be a good one, then pomegranate, she agreed as one of her usuals, so I said, chocolate Chipotle. She breathed inward then pursed her lips and made that particular half closed eyes oooo sound, followed by that would be good. So, next time in the drive, gelato it is, eh. Lezflirt international

Was that flirting?

In line at the grocery store, I joked about the latest celeb divorce playing out in the tabloids at the checkout counter. The woman in line ahead of me, laughing at my routine, offered up a comment about being told her nipples were average by the piercing place she had them done the previous day. Excuse me? I said, she repeated that he has said they were average sized. Oh, so not a value judgment, but a measurable? She seemed not reassured nor amused, more confused really

then I said, there is no way to not sound creepy, but I am sure they are lovely. She got perkier then, and I wandered off, and now it occurs to me that she wouldn’t have thought anything I said untoward, and her forwardness went over my head. I can’t imagine what she made of my thanking her for a unique public conversation at a grocery check out. Overthinking not offending is blocking incoming flirting, signals, messages and messengers, in the context of time and place.

Lezflirt coming out is coming on

Back in the 1990s, my university days, there were many times that I would be talking to a woman who would suddenly blurt out she was a lesbian. Okay, I would reply, unclear on the relevance of this declaration, and over my head the unspoken, we’ll aren’t you unsaid query, anyway, about the subject matter. I was entirely focussed on studies, and paying for university, and only as I left university did I realize, what those half dozen declarations. We had no idea how to know who to flirt withever mind how actually do it, without roleodels around arts and the artists, or other public representatives. Life is not subtext, nor should life be confined to shadows or the gallows casting them. Lest we forget, the raw recovery specialist